Donald Trump’s First Foreign Policy Briefing

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It is supposed to take place tomorrow, from what I hear – details were just leaked a few minutes ago.

Apparently, these are the priority talking points:

  • Lil’ Kim is the Secretary of State for the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea.
  • Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan once signed Ivory Joe Hunter to Atlantic Records, a label run by Erdogan’s distant cousin, Ahmet Ertegun.
  • The U.S. recently supported the government of Yemen when it apprehended Black Lives Matter protestors at a Dow Chemical plant in that country; protestors alleged that the company carried out attacks against female insects of color in its gardening products, accusing Dow of “herbicide.”
  • British Prime Minister Theresa May is a very distant relative of former baseball player and Cincinnati Reds star Lee May, and she prefers to be reminded of that family connection at state functions.
  • The United Nations Convention on the Law of the Sea was passed resoundingly by both houses of Congress in 2008 and proclaimed to be the law of the land by Secretary of the Interior Sarah Palin.
  • Argentina recently dedicated a statue of former U.S. Secretary of State Henry Kissinger for his support of leftist insurgencies in that country and across the globe.
  • A tribe of Kalahari Desert Bushmen recently fashioned an interstellar missile made out of a massive collection of Coke soda bottles and launched it into space where it presently orbits the Earth; scientists dubbed the craft “The Gods Must Be Crazy” rocket.
  • Former President George W. Bush is currently vacationing with his family on their yacht, dubbed “Mission Accomplished 2.0,” in the South China Sea.

Stay tuned for more on this developing story (smile).

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