Time To “Get Some Game,” Dems!

Or, as Will Rogers said, “chaotic action is preferable to orderly inaction”…hopefully he would have found this to be funny.

(Maybe a return to posting tomorrow – don’t know yet.)

Some Musical “Mao-Practice” In Tribute To “Jacko”

Good enough to make me dust off my “little red book” (even though I have a feeling that that guy making the motion with his hands is going to give me nightmares)…

Hopefully I’ll get back to posting soon, even though what passes for our political discourse is particularly stupid at the moment (though I guess this isn’t helping either, but a laugh now and then doesn’t hurt).

A “Condi Comeback” With The “Queen Of Soul”?

This tells us that Aretha Franklin will be performing at the Mann Center for Performing Arts in these parts next Tuesday July 27th, with musical accompaniment provided by former Bushco Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice (as the story tells us, Rice is an accomplished classical pianist).

With that in mind, I wondered if Dr. Rice would care to take a shot at a certain timeless hit from the show’s headliner (here). And if she did, I have a feeling that it would go something like this…

Think (think) think (think) think (think)
think (think) think (think) think (think)

You better think (think) think, or you just might see me once again
Yeah, think – I might lead a 2012 White House win

Let’s go back, let’s go back, let’s go way on way back when
You didn’t even know me, I couldn’t have been too much more than 10 (‘bout 11)
A classmate bombed to death made me know the racists were insane
But after I was a doctor, I still shared their politics all the same

You better think (think) think, or you just might see me once again
Yeah, think – I might lead a 2012 White House win

It’s be freedom (freedom), freedom (freedom), freedom, yeah freedom
Freedom (freedom), freedom (freedom), freedom, ooh freedom (that’s what I call it)

There ain’t nothing you could ask I could answer you but I won’t (on Iraq)
About Iran – put me in charge and pre-emptive war would be back

You better think (think) think, or you just might see me once again
Yeah, think – I might lead a 2012 White House win

Bolton says I’m no hard liner, playin’ games for a fight
He should chill, that PNAC fool – the world’s wrong, and I know I’m right

You better think (think) think, or you just might see me once again
Yeah, think – I might lead a 2012 White House win

Let’s “nation build,” give one more try
One more 9/11, and then let those warheads fly

Ooooh yeah, say goodbye to me (and goodbye to you)

(To the bone for deepness, to the bone for deepness, to the bone for deepness, think about it)

You had better stop and think before you think, think!!

I hope Former Madame Secretary sticks to her career in music and holding down cushy jobs at conservative-friendly think tanks, as opposed to entering public life once more (and I’ll “stick to my day job” also:-).

Tuning Into America

I thought this was an interesting New York Times article, which basically tells us that, while the image of this country abroad has suffered mightily under President Highest Disapproval Rating In Gallup Poll History, it seems that the rest of the world just can’t get enough of what gets churned out by the entertainment biz in the U.S., regardless of who’s in charge.

And I thought this excerpt was kind of funny, though perhaps inappropriately so…

Hilary Rosen, the former chairwoman of the Recording Industry Association of America, who was also present at the post-9/11 meetings, said that (Karl) Rove and other White House officials were looking for the kind of support Hollywood gave the United States during World War II.

“They wanted the music industry, the movie industry, the TV industry to produce propaganda,” she said. “Rove was putting a lot of pressure on us.”

I say “inappropriately” because of what had happened prior to that, of course, but when you realize how much of our corporate media (the Beltway “chattering classes” in particular) were totally “in the tank” for our ruling cabal of crooks, to the point where they were nothing but ciphers for Rove and company anyway…yeah, it’s kind of laughable (also considering how much conservatives routinely demonize Hollywood as some sort of hot bed of liberal subversion – oh, and by the way, I wonder if “An American Carol” is out on DVD yet? Any shot at turning a profit?).

Well, the answer seems plainly obvious, even to a filthy, unkempt liberal blogger such as yours truly; we need to turn our political-media culture (such as it is) into entertainment (aside from the low farce that it often is anyway, I mean).

And here are some ideas…

“GOP Survivor: Washington, D.C.” – Freshmen Republican U.S. House members gather at a “watering hole” in nearby Georgetown to plot, form alliances, and generally belittle each other in private interviews prior to participating in a series of competitions, with the winner to be awarded the position of House Minority Leader. Contestants must compete to see who can stand on perches mounted inside the Capitol rotunda for the longest period of time, conduct the longest interview on C-SPAN without a “bio break,” and see who can come up with the biggest list of pejorative words to describe the Democratic Party opposition (spoiler alert; no one wins because, at the end, the current minority leader, John Boehner, refuses to give up his position).

(Update 12/3/08: Just for the record, I messed up some things in that prior writeup that I fixed a few minutes ago.)

“The Harry And Mitch Variety Hour” – This week’s show features comedian Rush Limbaugh introducing a home video he made after popping too many OxyContin pills before flying down to Puerto Rico looking for hookers. Future episodes will include the song stylings of former Attorney General John “Lost An Election To A Dead Guy” Ashcroft, a re-enactment of his misadventure in the Minneapolis, MN airport men’s room with Larry Craig, and a film tribute of President-Almost-Gone George W. Bush and his most memorable malaprops. And as always, the show closes with the theme song “No, Harry,” describing all the ways Harry bargains, cajoles and occasionally sells his soul to pass legislation in the Senate, only to have Mitch defeat it in the end. Brought to you by Geritol.

“Barack!” – The creators of “CSI” bring us this cutting-edge drama starring the first African-American President of the United States, meeting with key Cabinet secretaries in the morning, flying out on Air Force One to resolve an international terrorist crisis – sometimes while brandishing an assault rifle or shoulder-fired rocket launcher – in the afternoon, and returning to our nation’s capital to resolve a family conflict in the evening (the “blaxploitation” genre lives again, with a healthy dose of the Huxtables and a dash of “The ‘A’ Team”).

And in this week’s episode, the Speaker of the House comes down with a case of “jungle fever.”

(Hey, compared to what most of the world thinks of us at this moment, how could this NOT be an improvement?)

Sarah Gives Us “The Bird”

In case you missed it, here’s Sarah Palin’s interview while turkeys are being slaughtered (can’t make this stuff up, you know? And I loved the MSNBC captions).

Some Smells That Sell (Maybe)

This Murdoch Street Journal story tells us the following…

When he launches a new men’s fragrance next month, Sean “Diddy” Combs, the hip hop impresario turned marketing mogul, hopes his sales pitch will resonate with the same consumers who voted for Barack Obama.

The story also tells us…

“When you see Barack Obama, you see a strong, elegant black man and when people see my ad, it’s almost like that’s the trend,” (Combs) said.

The black-and-white ad, which will appear in magazines and on billboards stating in December, features Mr. Combs clad in a white dinner jacket. The fragrance will be sold at Macy’s, Inc. stores for the holidays.

(OK, I cheated with those two paragraphs; you have to subscribe to the Journal in order to read that and the rest of the story…my bad).

And this got me to thinking about a new way certain political figures could cash in here, and with that in mind, I’d like to propose the following…

“Coot” McCain – Hot and musty like the perspiration in the Arizona heat you work up after visiting your 12 homes, all you need to do is slap a dash or two of this across your face, and you’ll be spewing profanity at a beer heiress in no time. Look for the little lime-green bottle.

Perfectly Palin – The wink invites you to “come on over,” and after a whiff of this alluring, intoxicating fragrance, you’ll buy her a “bridge to nowhere” and $150,000 worth of men’s, women’s, and children’s apparel and accessories faster than Vlad Putin can stick his head into your airspace (warning: keep out of reach of NHL hockey players – here).

Can’t wait for the “proof of concept” on the ad campaign for these two – can you?

Dubya Tells All – But Does Anybody Care?

This story tells us that President Highest Disapproval Rating In Gallup Poll History has a bit of a problem concerning the whole “legacy” thing…

In less than three months, President-elect Barack Obama will take office and the Bush administration will belong to history. With President George W. Bush reportedly interested in writing about his White House years, publishers have a suggestion:

Take your time.

“If I were advising President Bush, given how the public feels about him right now, I think patience would probably be something that I would encourage,” says Paul Bogaards, executive director of publicity for Alfred A. Knopf, which in 2004 released Bill Clinton’s million-selling “My Life.”

“Certainly the longer he waits, the better,” says Marji Ross, president and publisher of the conservative Regnery Publishing, which is more likely to take on anti-Obama books in the next few years than any praises of Bush.

Yep, it looks like Commander Codpiece has another issue on his hands, all right. Maybe he could contact Vantage Press or another Vanity publisher and try his luck with them.

In case that doesn’t pan out, then I believe Dubya will need a truly creative solution here, and I’d like to suggest tailoring his memoir to another type of trade publisher.

And while trying to sell his term in the White House as, say, a Harlequin Romance novel would pose peculiar challenges, maybe something like this could work…

He strode purposefully across the plush carpet of the West Wing as his aides scurried to keep up with him, shuffling papers and keying their Blackberries to determine which brief the President should examine first or which advisor he should consult to mitigate yet another looming global crisis.

And as George W. Bush approached the Oval Office, his steely glare beholding all before him, arms rested at his side and his chest forward, firmly presenting an air of confidence with a hint of defiance, his eyes met Laura’s, and the tiniest hint of passion stirred once more within her, continually amazed at how the carefree, jovial frat boy she once knew had ascended to become the most important head of state on earth.

Hey, did I say that it couldn’t be fiction?

Or how about this?

At once, he entered the chamber of his command, and as he quickly turned to survey the landscape, he noticed her, obediently seated by his desk, gazing raptly upon him, seemingly beholden to his every whim.

Condi.

Even her name conjured desires within him of the teasing thrill of the chase, the forbidden conquest, and the unspoken joy of her acquiescence, giving herself utterly to the leader of the free world under the spell of the aphrodisiac of presidential power. And her subtle pout as she awaited him wavered only slightly as her eyes shifted slightly away from his, glancing towards the sleek cut of his slacks, which stylishly tried to understate what she perceived to be the continual readiness of his manhood.

OK, I’d better stop.

So, as you can see, our preznit currently faces an obstacle to his place in literary history that shouldn’t be insurmountable, I believe.

And if all else fails, someone can put together a children’s pop-up book for him, showing Iraq’s non-existent WMD, the Constitution with the First, Fourth and Tenth amendments crossed out, and flies buzzing around dead Katrina victims in the Ninth Ward of New Orleans.

Almost There

Hat tip to The Daily Kos for these reminders…

A Verse For The Worse?

This tells us that People for the American Way and The Nation are joining forces to sponsor “McPalin Haiku Hysteria” with some cool prizes included.

Here are my submissions:

Governor Hottie’s
Seven Hundred Billion Lies
To Katie Couric

Long Live John McBush
Cancelled campaign, “saved the day”
The rescue bill died

McCain treats Barack
With contempt, but Big John sinks
Further in the polls

Many can enter, but few can win, so have fun (and we need to laugh, considering this).